When I was a new student at Queenstown Primary School, I was placed in a special language program called the “Learning Center” for children who had difficulty communicating in English. For someone born in New Zealand and whose English was her first language, I had no idea why I needed to attend these special English classes. As confused as I was, I still attended the learning center to read books I already knew how to read and write words that were below my ability. It wasn't until later in life that I reflected on this experience and realized that I had been placed in this program because of one thing that made me different from everyone else. I was Asian. I was a shy Asian girl and all the teachers assumed that I couldn't speak English because of this. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an Original Essay Our school uses the word “diversity” proudly and frequently, exclaiming the greatness of the fact that our students come from over 21 different nationalities. But this type of casual racism against Asians is common and goes unnoticed because it is often carried out by otherwise well-intentioned people. As a child I didn't understand race. I assumed everyone was the same. But most Asian children born in New Zealand will experience that shocking moment in our childhood when we realize that not all of us are white. First of all, you start to realize that your parents are a little different than your friend's. Who have a different accent than your friend's parents and put food in your lunch that smells a little different. You notice that your name is strange and that when someone speaks to you slowly, it's not because they're trying to be articulate, but because they think you don't understand English. You also realize that your height, your eyes, your nose, your skin, don't quite fall into the same characteristics as your friend's facial features. In my second year (and an ongoing experience), my teacher called me Amy. I corrected them and told her “it's pronounced Army,” to which she replied, “that's not how you would normally pronounce it in English. “I felt like I was being accused of having a non-Kiwi sounding name and I asked my parents if I could change my name. One that wouldn't be followed by an embarrassing pause in shooting. In fourth year, I wanted to be blonde and blue-eyed like my other friends. I looked down every time too ignorant people made degrading jokes about Asians to realize that by pulling their eyes back to mock mine, it actually hurt my feelings. In seventh grade, I brought homemade Japanese bread to school for lunch, but after one or many judgmental looks and "hey, you'll eat that," I convinced my mom to make me some vegemite and cheese sandwiches. “You are so Asian,” has become a regular expression used to justify my Asianness. An expression that I wasn't sure if I liked and I wasn't sure I understood. What does this phrase mean? Can someone explain to me what criteria might be used to determine my level of "Asian-ness". I had heard this stereotype so many times until I got to the point where becoming "too Asian" scared me. It made me despise my own race, I tried my best to avoid speaking Japanese in front of my non-Japanese peers. I told my parents to stay quiet in public in an attempt to avoid appearing foreign because I was afraid their accents would embarrass me. In ninth grade I had a Chinese teacher who spoke broken English. The studentsin my math class made fun of his accent and mockingly repeated what he said, which was completely useless. She knew twice as many languages ​​as those making racist comments, so excuse her if she couldn't speak her new language perfectly. Most non-native English speakers will have an accent that they can't get rid of, and that's totally fine. What's not okay is you looking down on someone just because they can't speak fluently a language you've spoken your whole life. Having an accent doesn't make them stupid, ignorant, losers. They are hard working people who have achieved so much by moving to another continent, experiencing culture shock, learning a foreign language and still managing to make a living in this new, unknown world. Unsuccessful? A loser? Watch yourself: being condescending to a teacher who has been through so much in her life, only to be silenced by people like you who aren't willing to see that she's trying. These people are what I call absolutely pathetic. It bothers me to see people patronizing those who don't speak fluent English. It mortifies me to see my mother treated this way. It made me understand that it's not my mom or my math teacher but those instigators who should be ashamed. You are the failed individual for not being able to emphasize my mother, your teacher, your international friends, your colleagues who are mocked every day because they "don't look like the rest of us". You are a loser if you dismiss a person's difficulties as nothing because they have an accent that you find difficult to understand. And you are pathetic, because you are the ignorant, heartless, malicious person that you are. In 11th grade, a friend questioned me about my “Asianness.” She wanted to know why I wouldn't speak Japanese in front of her. As an Asian New Zealander who grew up ashamed of my own culture due to the experiences I faced as a child, her friendly discrimination took me by surprise. It made me feel like it was unreasonable to tell her what I thought, because in truth the thoughts running through my head were something I wouldn't have had the courage to say in person. I thought. . . pardon? You don't understand Japanese, so why should I start speaking Japanese to you? People used to make fun of my culture, now you want me to embrace my culture? What do you want me to do? Why do I feel like I have to please you? Stop judging me for who I am and who I am not and please let me be. To anyone who has asked this question to anyone of Asian descent, I ask you all to stop policing Asian New Zealanders about how Asian they are. With this bullshit of judging someone because they don't speak their language perfectly or aren't fully engaged in their culture. Many of us have spent most of our lives living in Western society, forced to assimilate in order to be accepted and, more often than not, ashamed of our heritage. Everyone's journey to connecting with their roots is different, and no one should have the audacity to point fingers and tell others how they should live their lives. And with all the kindness I can muster, I ask you to please mind your own business and shut up. In year 12, my teacher asked me if I was going to the University of Otago and I said, “no, I want to be an architect. " At this my teacher looked really confused and replied, "Oh, I thought you wanted to be a doctor. “Does being Asian automatically lead me to a career in medicine? Because if you assume that all Asians LOVE science and would love to become a doctor one day, then.