Conversations about Vladimir Nabokov's Lolita often involve the contentious discussion of whether Lolita, the young girl involved with the novel's forty-year-old narrator, has any role in the relationship, or whether Humbert Humbert forces her to deal with the circumstances and keeps her trapped. Some argue that because Lolita is only twelve years old at the beginning of the novel, Humbert takes advantage of the girl and she has no say in what happens to her after her mother's death. On the other hand, as we learn from Humbert, it is Lolita who initiates many of the first sexual encounters between the two, and Humbert is not Lolita's first sexual partner. Furthermore, as can be seen from Lolita's comments and gestures, the young girl plays tormenting mind games with Humbert from the beginning. However, while I consider that Lolita has a considerable amount of agency in the controversial relationship since she is the one who initiates the sexual commitments and acts as if the relationship is a thrill game, I still maintain that Lolita is trapped by Humbert and deprived of the childhood he longs for until he finds the opportunity to escape. Lolita's threatening comments, bitter attitudes, and demands for more and more money from Humbert demonstrate that she intends to run away from the man from the early stages of the relationship, a factor that implies that she is never happy or comfortable with Humbert. to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an original essay Many argue that Humbert forces Lolita into a controversial relationship by not giving her any other choices after her mother's death; however, Lolita is aware of what is happening between her and Humbert, and agrees to the relationship forming once Humbert picks her up from camp. As the couple begins their long journey, Lolita tells Humbert that she has been "repulsively unfaithful to [him]," implying that the two are already in a relationship and also inviting Humbert to see her as a sexual being (112). . Lolita is eager to tell Humbert what she did at camp, but reveals that she "just can't tell him without blushing all over" (115). By providing Humbert with statements that allude to her sexual activities at camp, Lolita plays with Humbert and gives him permission to think about her in a sexual way. At this point, she knows that Humbert wants her the way she alludes to, because the two have already kissed several times. Lolita also shows some action by talking about the relationship as if it has already become something serious. He states, when the couple is at their first hotel after the death of the child's mother, "Tell me, wouldn't mother be absolutely mad if she found out we were lovers?" Humbert emphasizes not encouraging this behavior on Lolita's part so early in the relationship's progression, as he responds, "Good God, Lo, we don't talk that way" (114). The behavior that Lolita displays at the beginning of the relationship also implies that she expects sexual commitment with Humbert. When they arrive at the first hotel, Lolita asks with “violent meaning,” according to the narrator, if she and Humbert will sleep in the same room. While Humbert gently describes feeling “a feeling of great tenderness” for the girl, Lolita abruptly replies, “the word is incest” (119). Lolita's harsh statements about the circumstances between her and Humbert demonstrate that she knows exactly what will happen and that she is okay with what could happen to the couple. However, her somewhat bitter attitude and cheeky comments imply that for her the relationship in its early stages is an emotional game. In a way, she agrees to the relationship only because it offers an opportunity to rebel against her mother, and Humbert reminds her of the handsome, older actors she reads about in magazines.cinema. You can't ignore this fact. Lolita agrees to the relationship and knows what's going on. Little does she know, however, that the consequences of her actions could include becoming trapped in a relationship with a man three times her age. Furthermore, if we are to trust Humbert as the narrator, the fact is that Lolita initiates most of the first sexual encounters between the couple. When Humbert first moves into the Hayes house, Lolita often enters Humbert's study and sits on his lap. One could argue that these actions are childish and innocent, but Lolita must notice the way Humbert looks at her and acts around her when she approaches him. Lolita's awareness is demonstrated when she is about to leave for the field, as she runs into Humbert's arms and kisses him. This kiss is the first intimate encounter between the couple and is initiated by Lolita. While Lolita may not know the consequences of her actions, it is important to note that Humbert does not force Lolita in any way. In fact, Humbert tries hard to remember that she is just a child. On the way home from camp, Lolita initiates a sexual encounter by asking Humbert if he doesn't care about her, and when he asks her why he should think that, she replies, "Well, you haven't kissed me yet, have you?" (112). Humbert states that “Lolita flowed positively in his [arms],” and that she “pressed her mouth upon [his] so hard that [he] felt her large front teeth” (113). Throughout this embrace, Humbert thinks to himself, "remember that she is only a child" (112) and admits that he knows that for her the relationship is "but an innocent game" (113). Furthermore, Humbert is very adamant that it was Lolita who seduced him for sex. It may be possible that Humbert is unreliable as a narrator, especially because he is so defensive about the occasion as it unfolds. The narrator begins to tell the story of the couple's first sexual intercourse by exclaiming: “Frigid gentlewoman of the jury! . . . I'll tell you something very strange: it was she who seduced me” (132). This explanation may be a blatant lie, but as Humbert continues to tell the story, he provides enough detail to indicate that he may be telling the truth. According to Humbert, Lolita initiates sex by showing the narrator the "game she and Charlie had played" at camp, and expressing her surprise that Humbert "had never done it when [he was] a child" (133). Humbert emphasizes the fact that he is not even Lolita's first lover, and that she insists on telling him "the way she has been dissolute" (135). By including all this information, Humbert desperately tries to make listeners aware that Lolita is already a sexual being before having sex with her. This piece of the story and the fact that Lolita initiates sex shows that Lolita has agency in sexual engagement. However, even though these crucial parts of the relationship show that Lolita is aware of everything that is happening, she still doesn't realize the consequences of her actions, and when things start to go wrong she feels more and more trapped. Lolita plays on Humbert's mind from the beginning of the relationship, making him feel guilty about the circumstances the couple finds themselves in, and perhaps also signifying that she is uncomfortable with the relationship. After the first time the couple has sex, Lolita begins calling Humbert a “brute” (140) and a “filthy, dirty old man” (141). Immediately, Humbert begins to feel remorse for the way Lolita behaves after sex. He notices that she is unhappy and concludes that he has forced her into a living nightmare. Although Humbert takes responsibility for Lolita's misery, I still maintain that Lolita is playing mind games with the narrator. She tells him: “You idiot. . .You, revolting creature. I was a freshly pink girl, and look what you did to me. I should call the police and tell them you raped me." Lolita doesn't just play with Humbert's emotions; she threatens to get him in legal trouble. She also complains of pain and accuses Humbert of tearing "something inside her" (141). This specifies accusation, as Lolita must know, particularly attacks Humbert's mind, because the narrator seriously cares about this young girl and her well-being, knows that the encounters between her and Humbert are legally and morally wrong, and uses this knowledge against Humbert. when she tries to make him feel guilty. Lolita's occasional threatening comments and complaints mixed with her consent to the relationship and sex confuse Humbert While Humbert feels confused and paranoid, Lolita knows exactly what she is doing and plays these games on purpose mind games with the narrator.On the other hand, although these mind games are tormenting and painful for Humbert, they may be signs that Lolita actually feels trapped and uncomfortable in the relationship. Many believe that Lolita's mind games are part of the exciting game she is playing with Humbert for her own benefit. While this is true to some extent, Lolita knows that the mood swings and threatening comments play on Humbert's emotions and watching him struggle with his behavior is fun for her, the comments and complaints may have some truth in them. It cannot be ignored that the complaints you raise may imply that you feel uncomfortable and that you have made a mistake. Also, an important fact to note is that still, at this point, Lolita does not know that her mother is dead. Once Lolita discovers the truth about her mother, she has even more reason to feel like she has no choice but to go with this man wherever he takes her. As the relationship progresses, Lolita feels more and more trapped and as if she has no choice but to stay with Humbert. As harmful as Lolita's mind games are to Humbert, and even if Lolita is aware of what she is doing, her snobbish complaints are her way of suggesting that she is not comfortable with her circumstances as they are. Humbert reveals that Lolita "sobs at night, every night," indicating that she is not happy at all (176). Humbert also begins to have to bribe Lolita for sexual favors, because the initial passion has faded. He confesses, “I could fondly ask for one more kiss, or even a whole collection of assorted caresses, when I knew he longed for some object of youthful amusement” (184). Humbert begins paying Lolita for sexual acts, which indicates that they are no longer something she wants to be a part of. Lolita saves and hides the money she receives from Humbert, and Humbert assumes that she is trying to save enough to escape. One can only assume that Humbert's suspicions are correct, why else would Lolita hide the money she is saving from Humbert? Lolita's act of hiding the money means that she will most likely use it to escape from Humbert, so Lolita feels trapped by Humbert for a long time. Humbert notices Lolita's emotional state, as he admits, as time passes, that he is "less successful in keeping her in good spirits" and that he has to terrorize Lolita to keep her quiet (151). When it gets to the point that Humbert has to terrorize the little girl and pay her to keep her with him, Lolita is no longer a willing player in the game. The narrator even calls her “a young prisoner” and other degrading phrases throughout the ongoing issue (157). When Humbert confronts Lolita about her increasingly bitter attitude, he becomes violent and threatening. The narrator threatens to withdraw the girl from school and "lock her up" if her behavior does not change, or returns to that ofBefore. In response, Lolita tells Humbert that she hates him and that she will "sleep with the first boy who asks her" (205). Humbert's outburst shows that he is becoming more and more desperate to keep the girl under his wing, and also that Lolita is trying harder and harder to escape. During a fight, Humbert strikes Lolita, delivering "a tremendous backhand slash that hit her hot, hard little cheekbone" (227). Humbert's resort to violence makes it clear that Lolita is no longer his lover but instead his prisoner. When Lolita finally runs away from Humbert, starting a new life, she reveals that she is never truly happy in their relationship. Lolita tells Humbert that the man she runs away with, Quilty, is "the only man she's ever been crazy about," when Humbert visits Lolita and her new husband. This statement leaves Humbert feeling like he "never mattered," but it also shows that Lolita never cares for Humbert, and leaves with Quilty because she doesn't want to have her current relationship (272). While it is easy to feel bad for the narrator, as he is heartbroken over the loss of his true love, it is important to remember that Humbert's narration does not really give insight into how Lolita feels about the relationship in the entire novel. It's possible that Lolita never feels anything real for Humbert, and what begins as an exciting game for her turns into a harsh reality in which she becomes trapped. Furthermore, when Humbert comes to visit Lolita, he gives her the money she received. asking. After giving her the money, Humbert asks Lolita to leave with him, that is, to leave and spend the rest of her life with him. Lolita, however, replies: “You mean that you will only give us that money if I go with you to a motel. Is that what you mean?" (278). Lolita assumes that Humbert will only give her the money if she goes to a motel and has sex with him one last time. This assumption is reflected in how the relationship works in the phases leading up to Humbert's escape. Lolita: Humbert would increase Lolita's allowance in exchange for sexual favors. Lolita still believes that all Humbert wants from her is sex, showing both that she doesn't understand how much Humbert cares for her and that he never truly returns those feelings. If Lolita never returns the feelings but stays with Humbert for as long as he does, she is essentially trapped in a relationship she doesn't want to be in, feeling like she has no other choice. To some extent, Humbert knows that the relationship harms Lolita. When Humbert asks if Lolita will ever return to him, she responds that she would rather return to Quilty. After Lolita stumbles over her words, Humbert offers to "mentally supply" her in his narration, speaking for Lolita, "He broke my heart." . You just broke my life” (279). Assuming that these are Lolita's thoughts, Humbert shows that he realizes the damage he does to Lolita's childhood. Furthermore, if Humbert knows that these are Lolita's feelings towards the relationship, he should have allowed her to make her own choices regarding whether to stay with him or not. Instead, he keeps Lolita under his wing, only giving her money in exchange for sexual commitment and pulling her out of school when she begins to worry about her interactions with others. The way Lolita behaves at the beginning of the novel implies that for her, starting a relationship with her mother's older, attractive, and mysterious new husband is an exciting game. However, as the relationship progresses, Lolita's behavior shows that she is unhappy, uncomfortable, and feels as if she has been denied her childhood. Although it is Lolita who initiates some of the events that bring the relationship to life - the first kiss, the declaration that the two are truly lovers, even the first time they have sex - Lolita does not realize.