It may seem intimate but it is built to avoid openness, spontaneity and reciprocates the characteristics of true intimacy. Where codependents believe they are careless, but excuse the “neglectful” behavior of others despite their own pain, and see their codependency as a personal problem, which they must resolve themselves, those affected by unrelatedness do not. They are unable to let go of those in whom they are invested, not out of any deep, personal commitment, but because it shields them from the anxiety that is part of the risk of caring for one another. In simple terms, codependency is a toxic way of relating that an individual brings with them into interpersonal connections. Irrelationship is the true dynamic of connection