There is a thrill one feels in frightening experiences; this explains the popularity of horror films, roller coasters and haunted house tours. So many people embrace their fears to achieve the desired thrill. In the novel Bastard out of Carolina, Dorothy Allison weaves together themes of sexuality and fear, showing how danger can incite desire, as long as it is welcome. Allison uses the character of Bone to demonstrate how fantasy can be used to transform fear into a pleasurable experience. Fear, while considered a negative emotion, is not necessarily the most destructive force possible, especially when the fear arises only from fantasy and not from a real risk of harm. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an original essayAllison illustrates this in Bone by being repelled by dad Glen's advances while obsessing over him in the privacy of his bed. When she is first molested by him, she takes no pleasure in it, saying that "he scared me, his big hand between my legs and his eyes shining in the dim light (46)." She later expresses a wish that it had only been a dream (48), because the reality of the molestation raises a real fear of what Daddy Glen, stronger than Bone and in a position of authority, might do to her. A dream, on the other hand, would be thrilling. Although the molestation was not actually a dream, Bone creates one, fantasizing about pain and fear during masturbation: I imagine being tied up and placed in a haystack while someone sets fire to the dry straw. I could perfectly imagine it rocking on my hand. The daydream was about struggling to free himself as the fire burned hotter and closer. I'm not sure if I arrived when the fire reached me or after I imagined running away. But I came. I orgasmed on the hand in the fire dream. (Allison 63) When she is alone without the risk of Glen's violent rage, she is able to desire rather than retreat, taking an active part in her horror fantasy when in the horror of her reality she can only remain passive and helpless, "too afraid to move." (47) Sex and fear are often intertwined. Georges Bataille, author of Story of the Eye, a book that certainly incorporates elements of horror into an erotic work, said in this regard that sex itself scares people. “Man is constantly afraid of himself,” he says. "His erotic impulses terrify him." It especially highlights the fear of incest (Brain 28), which is definitely present in Bastard out of Carolina, with Glen being a father figure for Bone. These feelings of horror don't always dampen sexual arousal, instead making it more exciting. As Bone says of one of her masochistic fantasies in which Glen beat her, “it was scary, but it was also thrilling (112).” In Bone's mind, the intersections of sex and fear are largely due to his family background. The stories told to her by her aunts and uncles instill in her an eroticization of what might be considered frightening. Her Aunt Alma, for example, tells her that her Uncle Earle has "a devilish look and a body... made for sex (Allison 24)." His Aunt Ruth also describes Earle as having "bad enough to keep a woman interested (25)." His uncles also joke about Glen's temper, his violently enormous hands and “horse dick,” saying that a woman would never leave him (61-2). Bone's mother, Anney, is confused by feelings of fear and lust. When she is introduced to Daddy Glen, “his eyes bore her and become even darker. Then he blushed and sniffed his own sweat nervouslyunable to tell whether it came from fear or lust (13).” This uncertainty, while terrifying, excites Anney, and her daughter seems to take it that way. Uncertainty and anticipation are what make fear so exciting. When Bone masturbates with the fantasy of fire, she isn't sure whether she escapes the fire or is consumed by it, but she knows that one of those thoughts causes her to orgasm. Bone's sexual climax can be related to the climax of a story arc, where an intense confrontation occurs and it is uncertain whether the protagonist will overcome it or not. Fear and uncertainty cause an adrenaline rush; this arousal can be converted into sexual arousal, a theory known as arousal transfer. In his book Masochism and the Self, Roy F. Baumeister mentions an arousal transfer study that dealt specifically with fear, in which male subjects who had just crossed "a high suspension bridge swaying in the wind" were much more likely to flirt with an attractive woman on the other side of those who remained on land (138) Baumeister goes on to compare this to masochism, saying that bondage situations, such as those Bone fantasizes about, are sexually arousing because they make the masochist feel vulnerable ( 139). Vulnerability means a lack of control, a lack of security, and this creates a feeling of arousal in the body, which can then be transferred to sexual arousal. Masochists engaged in consensual sexual activity, however, usually have a certain level of control, however subtle it may be. As Baumeister writes earlier in his book, “It appears that the dominant has taken control, but again it is usually the masochist who desires [slavery] (77).” Bone enjoys having control over his fantasies when in reality he has no control over Daddy Glen. His beatings and harassment are not at all desired by her. What he desires, therefore, appears to be some control over his lack of control, which is the paradox of masochistic desire. The beatings inspire her to take the unpleasant and turn it into pleasure through sexual fantasies. This isn't unique to Bone's character; Theodor Reik, Freud's student and collaborator, said that "anxiety and fear... fear and horror... are unpleasant in themselves and yet trigger sexual arousal." Reik says these feelings may be the initial cause of childhood masturbation. Reminiscent of Bone's fantasy of a burning haystack, one woman imagined being on a butcher's block to achieve orgasm. Another woman traced her sexual desire to be slapped to her childhood (Brain 174). It seems to be normal for children to take scary situations and turn them into satisfying sexual fantasies. This concept is further illustrated in Bastard out of Carolina through Bone's younger sister, Reese, who also seems to enjoy the fantasy of being attacked despite not actually being attacked. The terror he experiences as he fights his imaginary attackers is “mock terror,” the only kind that can be pleasant (Allison 176). As Staci Newmahr writes in her book Playing on the Edge: Sadomasochism, Risk, and Intimacy, sadomasochism can often be cathartic: “Some participants play with the express purpose of healing from past traumas.” He also specifically mentions trauma resulting from incest, stating that "among incest survivors, incest play can sometimes be an example of this (95)." Healing doesn't happen by ignoring the trauma, but by turning it into a fantasy, just as Bone wished his abuse had just been a dream. By embracing the fear, masturbating to the thought, Bone was able to take back a part of himselfthe same one that would otherwise have belonged to Daddy Glen if he had tried to forget about it. In Bone's case, his fantasies reflect the abuse he suffered. However, as Anita Phillips says, “masochistic pleasure does not simply reflect inequalities and injustices… it eroticizes them… They are… made tangible, observed, participated in, enjoyed, enacted, exhausted.” It is the imagination, the "theatrical" qualities of masochism that make such inequalities bearable (54). Bone is able to escape his actual abuse by enacting it and exhausting it. Unlike her relationship with dad Glen, there is an end to the fear in her fantasies: when she reaches orgasm. As Phillips writes, “a sadomasochistic sex scene bears little resemblance to actual emotional or physical violence (54).” For Bone, the difference between his sexual fantasies and his actual abuse is vast. She masturbates while thinking about Glen hitting her, but in her imagination she doesn't scream or kick in protest like she does in real life. He imagines himself strong in the midst of the horror, “with clenched teeth, uttering no sound, no shameful screaming, no pleading (Allison 112).” This fantasy ultimately helps her become stronger in real life, refusing to scream during the beatings, which helps her endure them by giving her some control over the situation (234-5). In addition to being a coping mechanism for his abuse, the masochistic fantasies also appear to serve as a coping mechanism for the intense guilt Bone feels, both for angering Daddy Glen, and for taking pleasure in it later. Baumeister argues that masochism is more likely to remove feelings of guilt through escape rather than atonement (98-100). The resulting thrill can change a person's emotional state, thus making them forget or escape their feelings of guilt. On the other hand, atonement, or the removal of guilt by suffering for one's misdeeds, tends to be more superficial in sadomasochism. In Bone's case, however, masochistic fantasies provide a combination of both escape and atonement. Escape comes from the sensation of this. She feels bad about certain things, but masturbating makes her feel good. This focus on physical sensation is an important feature of sex therapy, often used to increase sexual pleasure (Baumeister 124). Bone also has an obsession with atonement, as indicated by the fact that every Sunday he goes to a new church to be baptized. Bone is thrilled with the fear of God and her horrible sexual fantasies. He says that what he wants is “that moment when he sits on the border between salvation and damnation (Allison 151).” Just as in her dream in the haystack, it is the fear of uncertainty that excites her in church. His active imagination also transforms feelings of spiritual guilt into fantastical things to desire. An important example of how Bone turns something scary into something pleasant is the hook he finds at the bottom of the river. Aunt Raylene finds children playing with it carelessly and tells them, “It's for trawling, for dragging. Go down into the river and they will use something like that to pull you up in pieces (186).” Bone later has nightmares about hooks, but despite their frightening associations, he desperately wants one for himself. She is obsessed with him until she ends up smuggling him out of Ratline's basement; he uses the scary object as a kind of sexual toy, giving himself pleasure. Bone doesn't give in to fear, but embraces it. The difference is that embracing fear means grasping it and making it your own, rather than letting yourself belong to the fear. Bone literally takes the terrifying hook and makes it her own when she steals it and hides it in her bedroom. Rather than be consumed by fear, she takes comfort in it, clutching it around her waist and thinking, “I was.