Pain is a universal reaction experienced by all of us at some point in our lives. The capacity that makes each of us capable of loving and satisfying relationships also makes us vulnerable to sadness, despair, and pain when such relationships are severed (Carr, 1969). Regardless of the actual relationship that may have existed before death, we have a tendency to idealize the relationship once death occurs and expect expressions of normal grief. Unfortunately, "normal pain" is what society expects, but the needs of the individual presuppose the labeling of pain. Since society influences our behavior through the secondary reinforcement of social approval during this period, we are not looking at the primary reinforcement of survival. Each individual's needs can only be understood in light of knowledge of his or her own developmental background and the particular conflicts that are mobilized, and the defenses used against these (Maddison & Raphael, 1972). important in another aspect of death called anticipatory grief. The term anticipatory grief was first used by Lindemann in 1944 to “… denote a reaction to separation and the possibility of death rather than to the inevitability of death” (Bourke, 1984). There has been a lot of discussion and research about anticipatory grief over the years, but up to this point the research evidence is inconsistent. All research points to the fact that the expected losses that the individual faces are very real. “Their emotional investment in the individual's presence, the satisfactions and warmth they have received through their attachment to her or him, will soon end” (Kalish, 1977). From Lindemann (...... middle of paper . ..... management of acute pain. American Journal of Psychiatry, 101, 141-148. Maddison, D.C. & Raphael, B. (1972). . Kutscher, D . Peretz and I. Goldberg, (eds.), Psychosocial Aspects of Terminal Care (pp. 185-200, New York: Columbia Univ. Marples, M. (1986). with a senile relative. Social Casework: The Journal of Contemporary Social Work, 67, 490-498. The term is a misnomer phenomenon exists. Journal of Palliative Care, 4, 70-73. Rando, T. A. (1989) and B. K. Kastenbaum (eds.), Encyclopedia of Death (12-15)..